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Writer's pictureSerinaJ

The Houdini Effect

Updated: Jul 10

Good morning, Serina here!


I woke up this morning with Dua Lipa's "Houdini" stuck in my head. The lyrics repeating in my mind were:

“They say I come and I go

Tell me all the ways you need me

I'm not here for long

Catch me or I go Houdini”


I wondered why these lyrics were on repeat, and I realized it's part of my self-growth journey. Reflecting on my relationships, I understand the importance of recognizing red flags and knowing what I can and cannot change.


These lyrics remind me of times when I gave my all to people who didn't reciprocate, leaving me drained. Now, "Catch me or I go Houdini" symbolizes my pattern of leaving unfulfilling relationships without explanation. It's not about being cold; it's about protecting my peace and prioritizing myself.


I'm learning to stop feeling guilty for leaving people behind, reassessing who deserves my time and energy. This process has brought me peace and reduced stress, helping me stay true to my values and self-respect.


It's a journey of reassessment and growth, where I uphold my self-respect and stay true to my values, even if it means grieving the end of certain relationships. The old me allowed others to drain me, but now I focus on maintaining my peace and only entertaining meaningful connections.


Here are some tips on how to keep your peace by keeping those who bring great support and positive energy:


  • Would I trade places with this person at the current time?


Now I know this sounds quirky, but let me elaborate- when I say would you trade places, I want you to think simplistically- is this someone else’s shoes I would want to be in? Does the person make decisions that end with positive outcomes, or are they constantly struggling because they make poor choices that land them to the same place and choose not to do better? It's a hard reality, but if you wouldn’t trade places with them or take advice from them because you know they make bad choices, this is a filter for me to know I can care and love this person from afar, but my current path and theirs doesn’t align.


  • Are they envious?


I hate to say it, but envy is a big green monster! Being in relationships where others envy you and try to downplay your success or hard work is not okay. Learning to distance myself from these individuals and keeping my peace took some time, but I found my peace. Anyone who tries to tell me otherwise, you’ll hear crickets—life is too short, I’ll keep my sanity, thanks!


  • Do they “stand by you” because of your resources?


When I was young, I always heard “when you have, everyone wants to be around you, but when you have nothing, all those who were with you, disappear." I have gone out of my way to help others financially and I cannot tell you how many times I have been burnt because of it. These days, I am more than happy to be an ear and let others vent, but finances are no longer part of the equation. My experiences have shown me I had all the good intentions to help, but not everyone means well, hard pill to swallow.


  • Do they talk the talk and show no walk?


“If they truly love or care for you, they will go through any lengths to be there.” If someone wanted to be there, make it work, or be with you, they would. It’s a choice. If they don’t fulfill their end, the answer is clear. It hurts when you want something to work but know the end is imminent. Letting go and knowing you did all you could is the best medicine. Remember, when one door closes, others open. Trust the process.


Letting go is a process and it will not happen overnight but keep your vision and goals clear and you’ll find true peace, in time.


What song best represents your current journey and what have you learned from it?


Feel free to share your personal growth journey in the comment section below.


See you on the next post!


Yours Truly,

Serina



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