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Writer's pictureSerinaJ

It’s Time to Speak Up: How I Learned to say ‘This Isn’t Okay’




Looking back over the last few years, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that being kind doesn’t mean staying silent. Growing up, I always thought that the polite thing to do was to just go along with things, keep the peace, and not stir the pot. But as I've grown—really grown—I’ve realized something important: being a good person does not mean being a doormat.

 

For so long, I convinced myself that if I spoke up, I’d be seen as difficult or ungrateful. So, I tolerated things—whether it was in my relationships with family, at work, or even in my romantic life—that I truly wasn’t okay with. I told myself it was fine, that it wasn’t a big deal. But inside, it was a big deal. I was letting my peace and my well-being take a backseat, all in the name of keeping everyone else happy. Sound familiar?

 

Here’s the truth I’ve come to understand you don’t have to be okay with things just to keep the peace. You don’t have to be silent about things that make you uncomfortable. The journey of growth isn’t just about learning new things—it’s about unlearning the belief that your voice doesn’t matter.

 

In the past, I’ve allowed myself to stay quiet when I should’ve spoken up. I thought being kind meant letting things slide—whether it was disrespect, mistreatment, or simply things that didn’t sit right with me. But kindness isn’t about how much you can tolerate. It’s about how much respect you have for yourself to say, "This isn’t okay with me."

 

Whether its family members crossing boundaries, friends treating you unfairly, or workplace dynamics that leave you feeling undervalued—it’s okay to say something. Speaking up for yourself isn’t rude or selfish. It’s a necessary part of protecting your peace and your mental health.

 

Let me tell you, I’ve spent way too much time suffering in silence, pretending things were fine when they weren’t. And let me also tell you: it’s exhausting. If you’re like me, you've probably been in situations where you bite your tongue because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or because you’re afraid of conflict. But in doing so, you end up hurting yourself. And that’s not okay.

 

It’s not about being rude or mean—it’s about setting boundaries that keep you safe, happy, and healthy. Being a kind person doesn’t mean you have to accept everything and anything that comes your way. It’s about knowing when to say, “Enough is enough” and valuing your own happiness as much as you value others’.

 

I’m learning that it’s okay to speak my truth. I don’t need to apologize for standing up for myself. The moment I started to voice what wasn’t working for me, everything changed. Sure, it felt uncomfortable at first, but it was freeing. It’s empowering to realize that you don’t have to accept things that make you unhappy, and more importantly, you have every right to express how you feel.

So, if you’re sitting there nodding your head, thinking about all the times you’ve swallowed your feelings to keep someone else happy, I want to remind you: you matter, your voice matters, and your peace matters. You can be kind, generous, and loving, and still say, “This doesn’t work for me.”

 

5 Ways to Speak Up and Protect Your Peace

 

Trust Yourself – If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut and don’t ignore your feelings.

 

Set Boundaries – Let people know what’s okay and what’s not. Boundaries protect your peace and help others respect you.

 

Be Kind but Firm – You can speak your truth without being rude. It’s possible to be both kind and assertive.

 

Don’t Apologize for Your Feelings – Your feelings are valid, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for expressing them.

 

Keep Growing – Growth is about learning, but it’s also about knowing when to speak up and set boundaries.

 

As I continue my journey, I’m learning to stand up for myself in ways I never did before. And the more I do, the more I realize it's okay to say no. It’s okay to set limits. It’s okay to prioritize yourself.

 

You’re not selfish for choosing peace over chaos, for choosing your happiness over someone else’s comfort. Keep choosing you. Keep speaking up. You’ve got this.

 

What’s something you’ve stopped being okay with recently?

 

See you in the next post!

 

Yours Truly,

Serina

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