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From Jealousy to Clout Chasing: How to Deal with Toxic People in Your Life

Writer's picture: SerinaJSerinaJ

Have you ever had to deal with people—whether friends, family, or strangers—who act terribly to your face but are quick to ride the coattails of your hard work behind your back? It’s frustrating, but sadly not uncommon. These are the individuals who belittle you, undermine your efforts, and dismiss your success, only to try and claim some of your clout when it’s convenient for them. Whether it’s family or outsiders, this behavior can be exhausting.

 

Jealousy is an interesting trait. These people may act out in front of you because, deep down, they are threatened by your success. They see the life you’ve built and the hard work you've put in, and they wish they could live in your shoes. What’s even worse is that they seek validation by spreading false narratives behind your back, hoping to claim some glory for themselves by dragging you down. It’s pathetic, but here’s the truth: their behavior is more about their own insecurity than anything to do with you.

 

Recently, I had an encounter that encapsulates this perfectly. While taking a walk with my family, my cousin’s girlfriend—someone I don’t even have a relationship with—drove up, slowed down, rolled her window down, and said "hi" in an overly friendly tone. She then proceeded to tell me that she was on her way to work and wanted to show her colleague where I live. Mind you, this is the same person who once told me I "don't speak Spanish," agreeing with her boyfriend's family that Puerto Ricans don't speak Spanish, even though she’s never even set foot in Puerto Rico. It’s clear she’s been fed false narratives by my cousin’s family—people who have never supported me or my mom, and instead, have raised their children to speak negatively about us.

 

To top it off, she thinks it's appropriate to show off a place that isn't hers, as if she has the right to do so. I don’t consort with such two-faced people, and the fact that she would treat me with disrespect one moment, only to try to act like we’re friends the next, is disgraceful. If she were around her boyfriend and his family, her tone would have been entirely different, I’m sure. It’s a perfect example of how toxic people project their insecurity and lack of self-awareness onto others, trying to act as if they know you when, in reality, they don’t even respect you.

 

It’s sad that people like this girlfriend can't acknowledge the hard work and sacrifices that my husband and I made to create our home and life. Instead, she acted carelessly, showing no respect for our privacy or boundaries. That’s when I realized, once again, that I don’t need these toxic individuals in my life. It’s not my responsibility to cater to their insecurities or put up with their nonsense.

 

How to Protect your Peace

 

Don’t Give Them Power

Don’t let their words or actions define how you see yourself. Their jealousy and attempts to drag you down are just reflections of their own issues, not yours. Keep your focus on your own growth and success and remember that their opinion doesn’t matter.


Set Boundaries

You don’t have to engage with these people. It’s perfectly okay to distance yourself from family members, so-called friends, or colleagues who are toxic. Protect your peace by limiting your interactions with those who bring negativity into your life.

 

Keep Your Composure

When confronted by someone trying to diminish your worth, remain calm and collected. They want to see you react, to fluster you, and to feel like they’ve gained control. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Keep your cool and rise above their petty behavior.

 

Walk Away When Needed

Sometimes, the best way to protect your peace is to simply walk away. Not every person or situation is worth your energy. Letting go of toxic individuals is not a loss—it’s a gain for your mental and emotional well-being.

 

Focus on Your Growth

Don’t waste your energy on people who don’t appreciate or respect you. Keep investing in your growth, both personally and professionally. Your achievements speak for themselves, and you don’t need validation from people who can’t even recognize their own shortcomings.

 

Let Your Success Speak

You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Let your hard work and achievements speak for themselves. The right people will recognize and celebrate your success, while the wrong people will reveal themselves through their toxic behavior.

 

Trust Your Instincts

If someone feels off, trust that feeling. Not everyone deserves to be in your life, and that’s okay. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who genuinely support and uplift you.

 

Protecting your peace means recognizing who deserves your energy and who doesn’t. Don’t allow insecure, jealous individuals to drag you down. Your worth is immeasurable, and your success is your own. Keep rising above the noise, and don’t waste time on those who don’t respect you.

 

Have you dealt with two-faced individuals in your life? How do you protect your peace in these situations?

 

See you on the next post!

 

Yours Truly,

Serina

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